It's Time to Spend Money!

The other day I read an article in the paper written by a financial planner about a fictional couple.  She was 64 and her husband was 74.  The article focused a great deal on how they need to continue to save money!  They already had quite a large amount in savings and owned a mortage free house.  It really annoyed me.

There was nothing about how they should go about spending their savings.  The average age of mortality is 78 and this guy is 74!  He may only have a few years left and they want him to continue to save money!  I'm not suggesting that people should rush out and spend all their savings; what I am suggesting is that there comes a time when spending your money (and enjoying what life there is left) just makes sense.

This is especially true if you don't have children.  We don't and a few years ago we decided to add a dream kitchen to our house.  I'm a serious cook and had been working in a terribly small kitchen for years.  We decided to use a Home Owner Line of Credit (HOLC) to finance the project, with NO intention of paying back the loan.  That's right; no intention of paying back the loan.  We essentially used the equity in our house to enhance our daily quality of life. It is 3 years since we did it and we are still enjoying the space every day.  We make the interest payments every month; that's all.  There is still a large amount of equity in the house and if we both die, our relatives would still inherit a good deal of money. 

Financial planning in retirement needs to involve a hard look at how much money needs to be protected for the future and how much can be spent now.  I'd like to see a few more planners recommending that people spend some of their savings while they are still young enough to enjoy it.

Selfishness

I am slowly developing a theory about aging that I don't really like.  In general I resist the notion that as people age they become cranky, hard to get along with, self-centred and rigid in their views.  Whenever someone tells me that they think that older people are overly self-focused I feel the need to point out that personalities don't change all that much over time (as confirmed by many studies in psychology).  It follows that anyone who is selfish later in life probably always was.

However, I am collecting anecdotal information on this issue and this has prompted me to question my defence of the elderly.  First of all, my husband has been fully retired for many years.  One of the most common views about retirement and one of the things that people say they look forward to the most is being able to "do what I want to do when I want to do it".  My husband certainly lives by this creed.  The bulk of his time is spent doing what he wants when he wants.  What I've noticed is that the more he has had the freedom to live this way, the more he wants to.  In other words, if there is something I want him to do (or something someone else wants him to do), and it doesn't perfectly align with what he wants to do, then we have a problem!!  Getting him to shift off his agenda isn't easy.  It stands to reason that if, in retirement, most people are able to indulge themselves doing what they want, there may be resistance to giving this up in order to please someone else.

The second phenomenon I've been noticing has to do with people my age who are trying to help their parents.  A youngish sales woman the other day told me that her parents live in a small town in Quebec and are reaching a point where they can't really manage a large house and property.  Her mother accepts that it is time to downsize and to perhaps move closer to their daughter in the city.  Her father doesn't see it this way at all and is extremely reluctant to sell, to downsize and to move.  Their daughter is a single parent and is trying to juggle fulltime work, being a mother, and also caring for her parents at a distance.  While she understands her father's reluctance, she feels he doesn't appreciate how hard it is for her to help them when they live two hours away.  He doesn't seem to be taking into account the impact of his choices on her.

I do believe that it is important in later life to be living in the place you want to be, but it is also important to appreciate the impact of your choices on your adult children who really want to be of help.  Decisions around where to live should, at the very least, take this into account.

Wills

I can't remember the exact percentage but about half of adult Canadians don't have a will.  Several years ago, my brother revealed that he and his wife didn't have a will.  At the time they had a daughter under ten.  I was shocked that they didn't.  I encouraged him to go and do it; he didn't.  I pointed out to him that if he and his wife died together, that their daughter would, first of all, become a ward of the province and secondly that she would inherit their estate at age 18.  Imagine someone at that age coming into considerable wealth at such a young age.  He didn't seem to be at all aware of the implications of dying without a will.

In the end, I decided to give him a gift certificate for $100 towards getting a will.  In Canada, a simple will costs about $250-$350.  It is such a small investment in such an important document.  He and his wife eventually did get to a lawyer and now they have both wills and Powers of Attorney in place.  It is true that in deciding to put a will in place does require one to think about death and dying.  As noted in one of my other posts, this is an issue that many people have great difficulty confronting.  Perhaps this explains why so many people avoid having a will.  My view is that, if your loved ones are at all important to you, then putting a will in place is a no brainer.  For a relatively small investment, there are siginificant dividends for your loved ones after your death.  And I don't mean in terms of wealth, but rather in minimizing the stress that comes with having to settle your estate at a time when grief is the greatest.

Hard to Avoid Dealing with Death

I have noticed that when someone dies, most people talk about the person "having passed" or they talk about having "lost" someone.  Saying that someone "died" is not that common.  In our society, confronting death in a straightforward manner is something that we all seem to avoid.  In my seminar, I find that I have to force myself to use the word "death" because it seems like such a harsh reality to raise with the group.

However, as somone who is now over 60, I find that having to deal with this reality of life is more and more difficult to avoid.  Friends are "losing" their parents; see even I do it.  One friend has recently lost her younger brother.  He was in his fifties.  Women friends are becoming widows, and at a pretty young age.

These events force us to confront our own mortality.  For me, they also provide an opportunity to learn about grief.  What I have noticed is that everyone seems to deal with it differently.  Some individuals seem to opt for the very British "stiff upper lip" approach, getting back to "normal" life as quickly as they can.  At a dinner with high school friends last night, one of the women who became a widow in her forties, said that she sought relief from her grief in work.  I have another friend who found that her interest in work simply disappeared.  One friend needed therapy once a week for a year in trying to deal with the death of her much older husband. Some people hang onto as many momentos as possible.  I did this when my parents died four months apart.  In clearing out their house, I found that I wanted to keep all sorts of weird things, like my Dad's aftershave.  It's been almost ten years now since they died, and it is only now that I am trying to weed out what I've kept.

Dying is part of the journey of life (I'm sure I'm not the first person to state it this way.) and it is wise to learn to confront the reality and then to decide how to best cope with its inevitability. 

Travelling with Max

Just thought I should provide a follow-up to my post about doing a business trip accompanied by my husband and my dog.  More about husbands later.  In this post, I want to report on our experience travelling with Max. 

I was quite surprised to discover that a very upscale vintage inn in Niagara-on-the-Lake actually had what they call dog-friendly rooms.  Ours was at the back of the hotel and instead of walking out our hotel room door into an internal corridor, we walked onto a covered porch area that bordered the back parking lot of the hotel.  We could head out for walks without having to go through the hotel.  It was very convenient and worked very well.  The only catch, when we checked out we discovered something they didn't tell us up front - we were charged an extra $35 per day to have the dog in our room!!  In the hotel information book, it referred to a "small" fee; we were quite taken aback to find that it added up to over a $100, what with taxes, for our 3 day stay.

At the next hotel we visited in Huntsville, we were also able to bring the dog into our room.  This time we were on the second floor of the hotel and had to go through the hotel to get outside.  However, there was no extra charge for having the dog in the room. 

Now I do have to confess that Max wasn't the perfect traveller.  He was a little thrown off by luxury inns, staying in the Guelph home of our niece with her very shy rescue dog, walking through the corridors of a hotel, and spending time in a retirement residence where we visited my husband's aunt and uncle.  This led to a few "accidents".  However, all in all he really did behave himself and we discovered that we could in fact travel successfully with him.  He did enjoy himself as well; he had his first off-leash run on the commons in Niagara-on-the-Lake and generally displayed a sense of curiosity and adventure during most of the trip.

We are not in a rush to do it again but we do feel confident that Max is an adaptable little dog and will have lots of travel adventures in his future.

Investing in Relationships

I have to do 2 retirement seminars out of town and we have decided that my husband, along with Max, our miniature daschund, will come with me on this road trip.  Part way through the trip we will spend the weekend with his niece and her husband.  Since my husband and I have no children, it is important for us to cultivate and maintain a close relationship with those in the next generation within our family.  Of our 4 nieces, one lives close by, one lives about a 6 hour drive away and the other two live thousands of miles away.

When the niece who lives a 6 hour drive away was in university in Montreal, we encouraged her to visit us on long weekends and she did.  We have gotten to know her quite well as a result.  Both she and her husband and my husband and I make an effort to keep in touch.  Her husband sends us a monthly newsy report on what they are up to, we talk on the phone regularly, and also make an effort to have face to face visits as often as we can.

Good family relationships don't just happen; it takes a commitment and personal effort to nurture and strengthen these relationships.  One of the joys of retirement is that individuals have more time to devote to the important people in their lives.  We are really looking forward to visiting with our niece and her husband while on my seminar trip and I know that it is an investment of our time that will strengthen our ties within them.

Widowhood

The average age of widowhood in the US is 56.  In Canada it's a little higher.  It is still shocking to consider that women who have a partner may very well spend some or all of their retirement alone.  I have six friends under the age of 60 who have already become widows.  Only 1 has remarried.  When talking with couples about their retirement it is tough to raise this issue but there is such a strong possiblity that it is going to happen that I feel remiss if I don't raise it.

From my perspective both as a professional retirement planner and as part of a couple, I believe that it is important for couples to take this possible reality into consideration as they do their planning.  Part of this planning involves estate planning, i.e. making sure that wills are in order and that all relevant paper work is done and its location known.  One of my friends couldn't find her husband's will when he died and another had a husband who didn't have a will.  This can cause needless stress at a time when the grieving process is in full swing.

It is also important to make sure that there is a support network in place.  It is fine to be fully supported by one's husband but if he dies, do you have strong family ties and/or very good friends who will also be available and willing to help.  If ever there is a time when support can help, it is when you lose a loved one.  Being prepared to ask friends and family for help is a key element in surviving through this difficult time.

Decisions about where to locate in retirement should also take into account this phenomenon.  My husband and I lease a cottage on an island and I am fully aware that if something happened to him, it would be difficult if not impossible for me to continue to go there.  As opposed to just not thinking about it at all, I do consider how I could conceivably continue to lease the cottage (I could only do it if I had people who could be there with me as I know that I wouldn't enjoy being there alone at night) but I also face the possiblity that I would have to give it up.  That would end up being a terrible outcome as it would mean not only losing my spouse but also access to a very special place.

I know that it isn't always easy to plan one's life and it's true that we never really know what is going to happen and when.  However, devoting at least some time to facing such a reality can prepare us to deal with such a difficult transition more easily.

Summer Musings

We spend a good part of our summer at the cottage, with short trips home as required or desired.  This partially explains why there haven't been any new posts for some time.  I suspect that our sojourn at the cottage is somewhat like the experience retirees have who decide to spend time away in the winter; we have several friends who are doing that.  We thoroughly enjoy the relaxed atmosphere, the time for visits with family and friends, the access to all that a lake has to offer during an Ontario summer.

However, for my husband perhaps more than me, being at the cottage has its downsides.  It keeps him from many of the activities he enjoys when we are at home, such as playing squash twice a week with a group of men that he has been playing with for many years, enjoying a golf game with his city friends, being able to go to a movie or watch a sports event on TV (we don't have electricity at the cottage so no TV).  Luckily for us we have a circle of friends on the lake and in the vicinity of the cottage but we still miss our close friends in the city over the summer months.

If you are planning to spend some of the time in retirement away from your home base, be aware that while it will bring many benefits, there will also be downsides.  If you have a partner, it is a good idea to discuss how being away for a few or many months at a time is going to affect your activities and your relationships.  It is also worth exploring how you can have your cake and eat it too, i.e. be away but maintain good contact with those you care about back at home.

Can you overcome aging?

My brother-in-law and his wife visited us at our cottage recently and she and I had a very good "dock" discussion.  She is someone who has always been interested in the spiritual side of life and she told me that she is exploring, through her regular meditation, the aging process, and how she can take charge of her own aging.  She believes that the power of the mind may be such that she can actually fend off some of the symptoms of aging this way.

There is certainly quite a bit of research that indicates that, if we use our mind well we can control, to some extent, our state of health, both mental and physical.  While not really disagreeing with her, I noted that there does come a time when it is healthy to accept a newly developed limitation flowing from the aging process and that fighting against such limitations, just means we are in denial about the aging process.  I am fascinated with where one should draw the line between fighting the aging process and yielding to it.  If one wants to age gracefully I think it's important to accept this fact and to adapt accordingly.  A good example involves knowing when to give up driving.  This is a tough decision to make and those individuals who make the decision themselves demonstrate what I'm talking about.

How hard is it to retire?

When I first began doing my presentation on how to prepare psychologically for retirement, I wanted it to be based on facts.  So....I checked the research carefully and guess what I found?  Most people like retirement, most people aren't traumatized by it, and retirees on average report higher levels of life satisfaction than any other age group in society! 

I have many friends who are retired, are about to retire, or who will in the next few years and I have to say that their experience and attitudes reflect these research results.  This is true even for those who seemed to be reluctant to retire.  It is important, however, to be aware that the people who do experience retirement in a very positive way are most likely to be those who did spend some time preparing for it.  These individuals have hobbies, interests, a vision, in other words, they had a good idea what they wanted to do before they ever retired.   Pick up any book on how to prepare for retirement and most will suggest that you get a life before you leave work behind.  It can make the transition so much easier.  If you do that, you may find, like many of the retirees I know, the time flies by, there never seems to be enough of it and you really can't figure out how you every had time for work at all!

A Book Review: You Could Live a Long Time: Are you Ready?

From time to time, someone asks me, Are you going to write a book about retirement?  My answer is always the same.  I say that if I came up with a unique new twist on the issue, I would.  There are a ton of books out there about retirement and most of them say more or less the same thing.  Someone recently, however, passed on a new book about retirement to me (thanks Judith) and I have to say that finally someone has found a new twist on the issue and I like it.

The author, Lindsay Green, tackles the tough issue of what the later stage of retirement is going to be like.  There is no sugar coating here.  She has two important messages for us.  The first is that we are not going to continue to look good, feel good and be able to avoid at least some of the challenges that age brings.  These challenges include declining health, loss of close family and friends, and an increasing dependence on the help of others.

The second message is that there is hope.  She provides many insights and suggestions, based on her interviews with a number of people who have successfully adapted to later life.  Her message is ultimately a hopeful one.  Her book might very well inspire you to get going on that retirement plan, based on a realistic assessment of what your life in the second stage of retirement is going to look like.  I highly recommend this book.

Back Problems

Last summer/fall I had sciatica; it lasted for about four months.  Thanks to my physiotherapist, it was quite a bit better by Christmas.  I described what it was like in my post called Helplessness.  It was a terrible experience.  Since we returned from our trip to Malawi, my back has been relatively good.  I began working with a trainer upon my return and all was going well until we pushed the exercises a little too far and I had to stop doing them.  My back was acting up.  Now that I have a puppy, I think that all the playing and picking puppy up and bending down to pet him has aggravated my back as well.

It is hard to accept that as we age, even with the best of intentions regarding our health, it is quite a challenge to keep really fit.  Great care must be exercised in carrying out a fitness regime.  Too little and it isn't that helpful; too much and we may injure ourselves.  And then those activities we really want to take on in retirement, like finally getting the dog we always wanted, may bring with it physical challenges that may affect our health negatively as well.

This does not mean that we shouldn't work out or shouldn't get involved in exciting new activities, like getting a puppy, but it does mean that we have to take care to ensure that we take into account our age and our  health in the process.

Top Ten Retiree Activities

I came across the results of a survey recently that suggested that the following represent some of the most popular retirement activities:

• Travelling:  This is high on the list of many retirees
• Family Activities:  In retirement retirees can finally devote more time to their families
• Hobbies:  All those activities like crafts, woodworking, antique hunting, etc. are on the list
• Gardening:  Being out of doors is a priority and gardening meets this objective for many.
• Fishing:  This activity is more popular than golfing and tennis combined.
• Golfing:  Notwithstanding the above comment, many retirees spend a lot of time on the golf course.
• Volunteering:  Retirees want to give back and many do it in the volunteer sector.
• Reading:  Finally, there is time to sit down and read a book all the way through in a few sittings!
• Exercising:  Modern retirees place a high value on keeping fit and in good health.
• Home Improvement:  Now there is time to get at that To Do list.

Sharing a Project

I've been posting about our new pet and you might be wondering what this has to do with retirement.  Here's the way I see it.  Adding a pet to the household is like taking on any new big project that is going to affect everyone in the household.  In my case, this means that our household of 2 people need to be on the same page as much as possible in order for the project to have a successful outcome.  Like any major project, it requires us to cooperate and compromise, as the project moves forward.

It became quite clear early on that we don't necessarily agree on how to train our new puppy.  My husband has high expectations for quick results re house training, for example, and is determined that the new puppy will get it as quickly as possible.  I, on the other hand, seem to be more patient on the issue.  He, the puppy that is, is pretty good at using his papers inside and as long as he is doing that, I'm happy.  Yes, he needs to learn that going outside is desirable but what's the rush.

When couples retire, they generally end up spending more time together and this means many more moments that require good communication and successful negotiations.  Training the new puppy is a big test of these two requirements - so far we're doing pretty well.

The New Puppy Arrives and Life Changes

Here is a picture of Max.  He's a four month old miniature black and tan short haired dachshund.  It has been 5 days now and there is no question that having a puppy enter your life is a pretty dramatic change.  Our puppy has bonded strongly with me since I get up early in the morning with him, feed him, praise him, talk to him, play with him, take him outside, etc. etc.  He particularly likes my lap.  Trouble is there is a lot you can't get done when you've got a dog on your lap!

I've never had a puppy or a baby and really didn't know what it would be like. Because he is so young, it is going to take lots of patience and time to ensure that he becomes a well behaved, relaxed and friendly dog.

There is research that demonstrates that having a dog (or some other kind of pet) can be a very positive and rewarding experience for people as they age and move into the later years of their lives.  They cite benefits such as:  the strong emotional attachment that occurs, the requirement to get out and get some exercise with your dog, and the practice you get caring about a creature other than yourself.  

Gone and Done It!

Finally, a decision made and a commitment taken on - we are going to be picking up our new puppy later this week!  How exciting and frightening all at the same time.  We went to a pet store yesterday in order to acquire at least the basic stuff we will need including a cage, food, a collar and a leash.  In some ways, I'm glad that we have no idea what we are in for.  Over the course of my life, I've often made changes on that basis because if I did know what to expect, I'd never take any chances or make any big changes.  All in all that approach has worked just fine and it sure reduces the worrying.

If you've taken on a puppy as one of your retirement "projects", I'd love to have your advice.

Different Visions

I haven't touched on what happens in a marriage when retirement time arrives.  It has become more complicated than it used to be.  Up until about 1990, statistics show that husbands and wives retired together (at the same time) and that most often the husband retired from a career whereas the wife retired from a job.  His decision to retire seemed to trigger her decision.

How the world has changed since that time.  Staggered retirement is becoming the norm for today's couples.  Men and women have careers and women are more likely than ever before to have pensions to consider in terms of the timing of their retirement.  Baby boomer couples are heading into retirement quite differently than their parents did as a result.  Most often now, one person retires, goes through their own adjustment while their partner continues to work.  Then at some point later, the other person retires.

Some studies have shown that retiring together actually makes for less conflict at the time of retirement.  However, there hasn't been all that much research on the boomers on this issue yet so I think we'll have to wait and see what the impact of staggered retirement is.  I do know that the divorce rate around the time of retirement is quite low, although here in Canada it has been on the increase lately.

However you and your partner (if you have one) plan to approach this issue, keeping the lines of communication open at all times is the best approach.  I've got lots of ideas about this issue so come back and visit my blog - there'll be more posts on this issue over the next little while.

Losing Your Edge

I am semi-retired, as I've noted before.  This means I spend half the day (usually the morning) in work mode and the rest of the day, including the evening, in retirement mode.  What I've started to notice is that it is becoming harder to gear up for work.  And my ability to work for 3 or 4 hours at a stretch is being sorely tested.  If you are thinking of working in retirement, be aware that this phenomenon may affect you as well.  I find it intriguing because I very much enjoy working on all of my retirement related work.  It is not a chore to me.  Once I am in my office, I am able to get right to it.  Once I'm deeply into the work of the day, I find the time flies by.

For a few years I rented an office outside my home and I must say that once I was there, I could work all day with little break and with a good deal of focus.  Working out of a home office does offer greater distractions.  At the moment the fresh spring air is wafting in my open office window, the sun is shining, and my garden beckons.  This does make it a little more difficult to buckle down and just get the work done.

Don't get my wrong.  I love being semi-retired and I believe that it is a viable option for anyone who is not ready to give up work.  Just wanted those of you who plan to work part time at home in retirement to be aware that the more you retire, the more you may lose your edge.

Morning Ritual

My mornings almost always begin with a good strong cup of coffee.  We get two newspapers, the Globe for my husband to read, and the local paper for me.  I enjoy sitting at the island in my beautiful kitchen, with this cup of coffee and my paper, reading it slowly all the way through.  Once I'm done and have eaten some breakfast, I normally get washed and dressed and then head into my home office, where I work on my business agenda until lunch time.  Then, the rest of the day is mine to do with as I please.  Oh the joys of semi-retirement!

I've noticed that when my schedule for the day precludes this highly civilized beginning to my day, it really annoys me.  I don't want to feel rushed, and I certainly don't want to have to leave the paper half read.  Usually this happens because I have a work commitment that requires me to cut short the ritual.  It surprises me how much I resent this.  I puzzle over why this morning ritual is so pleasurable.  From talking with others, I understand that this ritual is shared by many.  Why does it have such power to please?  And why do I resent it being cut short?  I'm still working on the answer. 

Investing in Relationships

With aging comes the loss of important people in our lives.  Once people leave work, many find that they no longer have much contact with work friends.  Parents and elderly relatives pass away.  And we even experience the loss of  people who are around our age, or perhaps even younger. 

Our social network in retirement is critical to our sense of well being.  Maintaining it and building upon it is pretty important.   This weekend we took the time to visit one of our nieces who lives a good day's drive away.  We recognize that, since we have no children of our own, it is important to enhance our relationships with members of the next generation within our family.  These relationships don't just happen.  While they obviously have to be built upon mutual interests and regard, there is no time like the present to make this a priority.

How can you ensure, as you move into your 70s and 80s,  that you have a strong and supportive social network?  Are there family members that you could become closer to, especially in the next generation?  Family plays a critical role in our lives; nurturing and building up our relationships with family, can only be of mutual benefit as time passes on.   

The Perfect Day

Today is my idea of a perfect day.  First of all the weather is exceptionally mild for the end of March and it's also sunny.  I had a leisurely breakfast, a ten o'clock appointment for a facial, met a close friend for lunch, spent a half hour at my local library, dropped by to visit a friend  who had offered me some plants from her garden (we had tea sitting on her front porch in the sun), returned home to do a little gardening of my own, to be followed by a light supper with my husband and a wide open agenda for the evening.

What is your idea of the perfect day?  It is a great way to think about what you want to do when you retire.  Play around with the answer.  Not everyone has a clear idea of what their retirement is going to look like and some people think that planning is a waste of time.  It really isn't; if you really aren't sure how you feel about retirement and you can't quite imagine what you'll be doing when you retire, take my question to heart.  Come up with as many perfect day ideas as you can.  Maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised to discover that there are perfect days waiting for you in retirement.

Friends from the Past

Last night I had dinner with 6 friends, all of whom I went to high school with.  This is just a subset of a group of "girls" that were all in the same high school program.  Many still live close by, but we also have a number we have tracked down who live far away.  Through the wonderful efforts of a couple of girls in the group, we have managed to stay in touch over all these years (the email system sure has helped!) - and it's been a lot of years, given that we graduated from Grade 13 in 1967!  As we all approached our 60th birthdays, we decided to meet to celebrate them.  Over a period of about a year and a half we had several memorable get togethers.

Some people find that once they retire, their social network shrinks.  Sometimes people do remain in contact with their work friends, but there is research that suggests that many of us lose touch over time with these individuals.  Social isolation can be one of the challenges that some retirees face.  As we retire and as we age, it is important to maintain and to strengthen our social network.  One way to do this is to reconnect with friends from the past, even people as far back as high school.

Retire When You are Ready

This week I was in Toronto to deliver part of a retirement seminar.  One of the issues we discussed had to do with when a person should retire.  Some people retire at a specific age because they meet the ideal pension requirements.  This isn't a particularly good reason to retire.  You should retire because you feel ready to do so and because you have a strong desire to get on with this next stage of your life.

I once encountered someone who said he would retire at 55 because he could afford to.  When I asked him what he was going to do in retirement, he said he was going to read and watch TV - that's it!  He was single, had no family nearby and few friends.  He really liked his work, had good social contacts at work, and really couldn't give me any other reason to retire other than that he could afford it!

Some people should retire early and some should retire late or maybe even never.  Retirement, at least classic retirement, is not for everyone, .  So give it careful thought, plan for it, and make sure that your reasons for retiring are the right ones.

Life Planning Tools

It struck me that I haven't touched on how one goes about planning for the future.  Whether it's retirement or some other life transition, taking steps to prepare for the transition is just common sense.  Researchers also support this notion; in the case of retirement, people who plan for it, are more likely to have a smooth transition and to enjoy retirement more.

So, here are a few tools to assist you in the planning process.

• Book Reviews:  Check out my reviews of the retirement/aging related books I like the most.  If you don't find what you want, there are tons of other choices; just do a search on amazon.
• Hire a Retirement/Life Coach:  If you are worrying about what you are going to do in retirement, hire a retirement coach.  They will normally charge you a flat fee, can be very helpful in uncovering your options and helping you to put in place an action plan. 
• LifeScape:  You can also visit my commercial retirement planning tool, LifeScape, for a small fee.  Check out the Demo.  It covers all of the financial, health and psychological issues of importance and there are lots of great calculators

Spring is here; the garden awaits

We are having an early spring; almost all the snow in our yard is gone and the tulips are coming up.  Because we are cooped up somewhat during the winter months, I find that I am dying to get outside once spring arrives.  Luckily for us, it's happening earlier than usual.  I was out yesterday cleaning up the walkways and also the garden.  I attended a garden seminar last year and the expert had an interesting take on gardening.  He suggested that you just leave all that plant material and leaves on the ground in the fall, don't clean it up in the spring, and it will become mulch for the garden. Everything will basically grow up through it, and eventually it will decompose and improve the soil.  Seemed to make alot of sense to me.  He was also big on adding more mulch to the garden on top of last year's stuff.

This is where I link the topic to retirement.  I have gardened for a long time and every spring I can't wait to clean up my garden.  It is very satisfying work.  It's good physical activity; it's great to see what is coming up under last year's leaves and plant material, and once the garden has been cleaned up, it looks great.  Old habits are hard to kick though.  If you are a gardener who has gardened a long time, you too have your rituals.  I promised myself that I wouldn't clean up this spring but yesterday I couldn't seem to stop myself from raking just a little way into the beds.  I also felt I should at least chop down some of the taller perennials, like the phlox, that look pretty awful this time of the year.  Once you retire, you claim back your time and many of you will probably devote a good chunk of that time to your garden.  If you are retiring in the spring, it will be very tempting to get out there and clean up.  Larry Hodgson, the expert I mentionned above, would suggest that rather than doing that, you should dust off a lawn chair, put it out in the back yard, grab a tea or coffee, and just sit and watch your garden grow.  The question is, can you do that?

How much is enough?

This is one of the most asked questions about retirement.  Of course, the answer differs for every individual.  It has a great deal to do with how much financial security you require to feel safe and what your requirements for money are.  I have never been one to worry about financial security, always believing that I will find a way to survive.  I have also had times in my life when I had very little money and still managed to live a pretty happy life.

For example, in 1994, I quit my very high paying government job with its wonderful defined benefit pension plan, and went back to university; I then started my own business.  During the next five years, I lived on less than $20,000 a year.  I continued to pay for a good share of our basic living expenses, I built up more debt than I was comfortable with, but my quality of life during that five years was much higher than when I was working in the public service.  I had a flexible schedule, could visit my elderly parents whenever I felt like it, had more time for the other important people in my life, and could work in my home office when I felt like working.  I actually put in pretty long hours but just didn't seem to be as tired as I used to be.  This degree of personal control over my time helped me to become much healthier because I wasn't feeling exhausted all the time, and I found that I enjoyed the challenge of living a happy life without alot of money.

So...when I listen to people who are still working worrying sometimes endlessly about whether they will have enough money in retirement (alot of this worry  fuelled by every newspaper article ever written by those in the financial services industry), I really wonder how carefully these pre-retirees have considered what is really important to them, if they realize that as we age we'll spend more time trying to get rid of things, than to accumulate them, that people will take on an importance like never before and that it is possible to live a healthy and happy life, without having huge sums of money socked away.

Need Versus Want

I was sorting through our slides of Malawi yesterday.  And I also had a conversation with a friend about the issue of how much money you need to be able to retire.  Here is a photo of a very typical village in Malawi.  Most Malawians probably earn less than $1 a day, that is, if they have a job.  Many are very small scale farmers, growing and harvesting mostly maize, but also mangoes, tomatoes, and other vegetables.  They are a very industrious people who seem to be in constant motion, on the way to or from market, working in the fields, selling their produce and wares all along the highway and in the local markets.  What struck me was how much they seemed to smile.

So....when I listen to someone here who is contemplating how much money they will need in retirement, and who is really worried about "having enough", I wonder what they really mean.  In Malawi, having enough money means being able to feed yourself and your family day by day, it means having enough for a small mud hut or perhaps a brick one, perhaps earning enough to buy a bicycle.  Hardly anyone in the countryside owns a car.  In fact in one B&B the owner (white) told us that he was in fact the ambulence service for the small community nearby since no one owns a vehicle of any kind.

When you are thinking about your own retirement and how much money you are going to have, and especially if you would love to claim back your time for yourself, take a hard look at what you actually need and then consider what you want and how badly you want it.  I believe that many Canadians could manage on less than they think and still have a very happy life.  But more on that in another post.

What they don't tell you about aging

I'm starting to get really annoyed about the impact of aging on my body. Just as I've been inspired by the Olympics to get fit, I develop a very sore spot in the ball of my right foot after walking or standing for any length of time. The good news is that these days you can diagnose your own health issues, at least to some degree. I've determined that I've got Morton's neuroma. Morton's what?, you ask. Well, its a nerve in the ball of your foot that may start to thicken with age (they don't really know why) and as it does and as you walk on it, it hurts.

Now, I'm always reading about heart disease, stroke, cancer and dementia as health issues to be concerned about as we age - and well we should. BUT, no one ever tells you about all the little weird things that may go wrong with your body as you hit your 50s, 60s and beyond. Here's my list:

Teeth: I've had two teeth pulled out (after having had root canals and/or crowns put on them); both teeth had developed fine hairline hard-to-see cracks that led my dentist to say, out with the teeth!

Skin: My skin has started sprouting tag moles, especially anywhere that my clothes rub against my skin, like around my neck. Hardly life threatening but really not all that nice to look at. I've also started getting little flat moles on my face. I'm not really a big fan of plastic surgery and don't intend to ever have anything major ever done, but these moles really bug me.

Tongue: About 2 years ago, I noticed that after eating anything with a vinaigrette on it or drinking wine, especially red wine, my tongue would be quite sensitive. A specialist diagnosed it as geographic tongue! They don't know why you get it and they don't really know how to treat it.

Are you getting the picture? Now I could go on and on about my lower back aches, and the twinge in my knee, etc. but enough is enough.

I have to say I feel most grateful that I haven't had to cope with the acute health issues, at least not yet, that strike some of our age, but I would like someone out there to spend a little more research money on all of these minor, aggravating, chronic little problems that can really affect the quality of our day to day lives. I'm sure many of us suffer in silence since these minor health issues are really just that, minor; thanks for letting me get it off my chest!

No Dog Yet

Another spring has rolled around and I haven't done much to acquire that cute little daschund I said that I wanted to get in one of my earlier posts. It struck me this week that my indecision is based on a phenomenon that is probably quite common to retirees. I know that once I have the dog, I will adapt quickly and I'm sure would fall in love with having a dog in no time. However, my mind keeps chalking up the downsides as well. In particular, I'm concerned about how it would tie us down. If we went to a dinner party, we'd have to hurry home to let the dog out; if we wanted to get away for a weekend, we'd either have to find someone to look after it or take it with us. But if we did the latter, then who'd keep an eye on it when we went out. And which hotels would let us have a dog in our room. And then what if we wanted to take a longer vacation. And then I think about the huge veterinary bills that most of my friends with pets always seem to be talking about. See what I mean?

You can see my dilemma. Having a dog involves commitment and so too does getting involved in a volunteer or part time job, registering in a university course, just to name a few. In retirement, many people crave the freedom of no schedule, no feelings of being tied down, having flexibility. And herein lies the challenge. Once we do decide to commit, our options to do other things may narrow. Don't get me wrong, this isn't a reason not to get a dog or to take on interesting and rewarding commitments. But it is one of the issues that retirees do have to address as they implement their vision for retirement.

I wouldn't mind hearing from those of you who have bitten the bullet and gone ahead and picked out that cute pet. What's your secret for getting the job done?

Going for Gold

WOW!! I just spent the last two weeks watching the Olympics and boy do I feel inspired! When I think about how hard and dedicated all of the athletes have to be, not just to win gold, but to even make it to the Olympics, I'm astounded. As a semi-retiree, I have a tendency, as I've noted in an earlier post, to let my time slip away. Dont' get me wrong, living life at a relaxed pace can be a very healthy option. But here are two things you will always see if you read books on how to have a succesful retirement. One is to keep as healthy as possible and the other is to lead a meaningful life.

I think we boomers in the retirement zone could all learn a great deal from these (mostly) young athletes about how to do just that. Perhaps my new motto will be "Going for Gold", and I'm not talking about medals here. I'm talking about living my life in such a way that I'm always striving to learn, keep fit, participate, connect, challenge myself and essentially live a life that is full and satisfying. If this leads to even a little bit of that JOY that poured out of the TV screen during the past two weeks, I'd be a happy woman.

Losing Parents

This week two people died, one the parent of an old friend, and one the father-in-law of a close friend. Also, because I'm watching the Olympics, I know that Joannie Rochette's mother died. In the first two instances, the individuals lived into their 80s. In the latter case, it seemed terribly premature. Rochette's mother was only 55. In fact, quite a bit younger than I am. One of the issues I discuss in the seminars I deliver is the harsh fact that as we age, we are going to lose more and more people that we are close to. Not only that, we are going to be called upon more often to provide comfort and support to those around us who are experiencing loss.

When they conduct interviews with those who have lived into their 90s and even beyond 100, these individuals often talk about how they had to learn to deal with loss - of family, friends and friends of friends. They talk about the importance of continuing to have a life, to make new friends, to just keep on going. It sounds like quite a challenge to me. It must take a pretty positive life attitude and a great deal of determination to keep on trucking, despite the loss of loved ones and perhaps health challenges of one's own. Perhaps it just points up the importance of making sure that, as we age and move into retirement, we make the effort to have a life of our own, that, despite the losses, we will still having something to live for. I think this is particularly true for those of us who either have a spouse or who rely heavily on one other person to be there for us. In the first two instances I noted above, the remaining spouses, both living independently in their own homes, will now have to cope with being alone for the first time in more than 60 years. That leads me to the issue of members of our parent's generation who fight the notion of moving into retirement residences as they become more frail, but that's an issue for another post.

Snow versus Sun

I just spoke today with a friend who is spending the winter in Florida. She is someone who had a very high-powered career, raised three children, and is now taking a break from her very hectic and demanding life to relax, play tennis, and enjoy the milder climate Florida offers. I'm sittiing here in my home office looking out at the snow and thinking about what it would be like to spend more time in a warmer place. I know that many Canadian retirees choose to leave the cold and ice and snow behind to spend several months in warmer climes. My husband and I talk about this from time to time but don't seem to have the same drive to leave behind winter in Canada.

For some reason, as I've aged, I actually find that the winter seems shorter and shorter. Of course, this year, we spent a month away in a warmer place, and the winter here is mild, at least so far. The other day my husband asked me if I had started thinking about the cottage and when we would open it up. I have to say that I haven't, not yet at least. But back to warmer climes. I must admit that at times it does seem awfully appealing to imagine getting up in the morning and going for a walk on the beach, arranging to meet friends for a leisurely lunch, playing golf or tennis in the afternoon and then sitting on the deck, with a G & T before lighting up the BBQ in preparation for dinner alfresco. Just thinking about it makes we want to be there in Florida with my friend.

I'd love to know more about how people deal with some of the issues involved in being away all winter. How do people keep in touch with friends, how do they make new friends while in the south, how do they manage to finance two homes, and in the end do they love living this life in two places. Guess I'm just going to have to do a survey of those I know who are choosing this lifestyle and report back.

Feeling Lazy

I'm using the picture that I posted in my last post as a screen saver. I look at it often as I sit here in my office. I think my 3 weeks in Malawi have somehow slowed me down. Ever since we returned to Ottawa, I find that I'm sleepy alot. I'm calling it Malawi Malaise. It was summer when we were there; it was hot, humid and sunny most days. In general, we loved the fact it was like summer in Ottawa. At night, however, we found it hard to sleep under our mosquito nets as it didn't cool off much, there is no air conditioning, often not even a fan, and we were sleeping in strange beds. Maybe I'm just making up for lost sleep.

I was talking with a friend in Toronto by phone recently and explained to her that although I seem to have lots of energy in the morning, by early afternoon I just feel sort of lazy. Not that this phenomenon is all that new. I've always had a low point after lunch where my ability to initiate anything other than perhaps a shopping trip is almost non-existent. She says she feels the same way. We compared notes and agreed that without intense deadlines and pressures to force us to be productive, we lean towards lazy. I reflect on this often as I think about what retirement from work is really like for people and also what it's going to be like for me. Don't get me wrong. I really like having control over my time, with a tendency to work in the morning and goof off in the afternoon. But some days I feel that I just let the time slip through my fingers. What if I wasn't working any more at all. Would I do even less each day?

Compared to the challenges some people face in life, I know that these are pretty nice issues to have to work through. And I think it's good for me as a retirement planner to be facing some of the same challenges some retirees face as they transition from a life of full time work or even part time work into full retirement. I haven't got it all worked out for myself yet, but if I'd only take the advice I give to others, I'm sure I'd find the answer!

Trip of a Lifetime: Malawi

My husband and I have just returned from a trip to Malawi. It's a small country in Central East Africa. He spent 13 years there, from age 4 to 17. His Canadian father was a tobacco specialist, helping farmers improve their tobacco production back in the 1950s and 60s. He had only been back once in 1972 and had been bugging me for years to go back with him. I'd never been to any country in Africa.

I have to admit that I had a number of misgivings about going on such a trip. Fears of falling ill, contracting malaria, getting eaten by crocodiles, being mugged, being depressed by the poverty, just to name a few. However, I finally decided that if we were going to go, we had to do it soon (we are both in our early sixties) or before long it would just be too late to take on such an adventure.

Well, I'm thrilled to say that I didn't fall ill, didn't get malaria, didn't get eaten by crocodiles, didn't get depressed and didn't get mugged. Quite the contrary, we had a wonderful time. The country, especially since it was the rainy season, was just beautiful. It was so green, the scenery was incredibly amazing, and the people of Malawi were not only warm and friendly, but very polite as well. We travelled for 3 weeks all over the country in our rented 4x4 Jiminy. My husband did a great job of driving, managing to avoid hitting anything on the side of the roads, which included young school children, people walking to market, goats, bicylists (with very wide loads), and even hens.

We spent time staying with an old friend of my husband's on his farm, Matambo Estates, 3 days at a wonderful game lodge on the beautiful Shire River, and several days at the lake. Lake Malawi is a huge freshwater lake with gorgeous beaches, very colourful fish making for great snorkelling, and I have to say, the odd crocodile.

There is no question that Malawi has its challenges as a country. It has very few valuable resources, a rapidly growing population, and many hurdles to get over in improving the quality of life for its citizens. We had many interesting conversations with those we met about these issues. Despite these challenges, Malawi is a relatively stable country, living up to its image as the Warm Heart of Africa. I'd highly recommend it as a destination for anyone wanting to experience Africa. And, of course, I have earned huge points from my husband for finally agreeing to accompany him on his trip of a lifetime.