Losing Parents

This week two people died, one the parent of an old friend, and one the father-in-law of a close friend. Also, because I'm watching the Olympics, I know that Joannie Rochette's mother died. In the first two instances, the individuals lived into their 80s. In the latter case, it seemed terribly premature. Rochette's mother was only 55. In fact, quite a bit younger than I am. One of the issues I discuss in the seminars I deliver is the harsh fact that as we age, we are going to lose more and more people that we are close to. Not only that, we are going to be called upon more often to provide comfort and support to those around us who are experiencing loss.

When they conduct interviews with those who have lived into their 90s and even beyond 100, these individuals often talk about how they had to learn to deal with loss - of family, friends and friends of friends. They talk about the importance of continuing to have a life, to make new friends, to just keep on going. It sounds like quite a challenge to me. It must take a pretty positive life attitude and a great deal of determination to keep on trucking, despite the loss of loved ones and perhaps health challenges of one's own. Perhaps it just points up the importance of making sure that, as we age and move into retirement, we make the effort to have a life of our own, that, despite the losses, we will still having something to live for. I think this is particularly true for those of us who either have a spouse or who rely heavily on one other person to be there for us. In the first two instances I noted above, the remaining spouses, both living independently in their own homes, will now have to cope with being alone for the first time in more than 60 years. That leads me to the issue of members of our parent's generation who fight the notion of moving into retirement residences as they become more frail, but that's an issue for another post.