Where oh where are my retirement friends?

When I'm delivering a retirement seminar, I always get people to think about who they will be spending time with in retirement. Many people assume that if they have a great social network while they are working, they'll have a great social network in retirement. Maybe this ain't so. First of all, research shows that you don't always take your work friends with you and with age, you are likely to see your social circle shrink. This is counterbalanced somewhat by having the time in retirement to make new friends, of course.

One thing I've noticed recently, however, that I find disturbing is that the great social network you have built up by the time you retire, may change significantly when you are all retired. One of my close friends is a fanatic traveller. She takes at least one 2-3 week trip every 4-6 weeks. We still haven't been able to arrange a lunch so that we can exchange Christmas gifts!!

Four of the couples we associate with are off somewhere warmer at the moment. One couple is gone for two months to South Carolina, another for 3 weeks to Florida plus a Caribbean cruise, the third for 2 weeks visiting friends who live in Florida all winter and my husband's music buddy (they meet once a week when he is in Town) and his wife are also in Florida for several months this winter. On of the favourite pastimes of retirees is travel and boy I can believe it.

I've also noticed that once your friends begin having grandchildren, all of a sudden you drop down on their priority list. I have friends who retired to the East Coast, thinking that they would have several couple friends they would see regularly. Well, most of these friends are grandparents and guess what, they don't see these friends much at all - they are too busy with their grandchildren.

So....when you are imagining life in retirement and how you've got this great social network that you have built up over the years to count on, don't be so sure.