Dogs and Retirement

A few years ago I noticed that alot of our friends were acquiring pets, dogs to be exact. In most cases these were people who had kids and the timing seemed to overlap with these kids launching from the nest. I assumed that some strange need to continue to be responsible for the care and feeding of others was at work. At the time, I really couldn't understand why all these people were doing this.

Then I got the bug and I don't even have children. My husband had a very cute daschund-like dog when he was a kid and his father took a video of it when they were at the beach. For some reason, the image of this short legged long bodied dog with the flapping ears captured my attention and I haven't been able to get the image out of my head. Now I seem to have the "get a dog" bug. I'm convinced it must be related to aging and being in the retirement zone. I visit web sites for daschunds, and I've spoken to breeders about the breed, and I've done alot of research. This has been sort of good and bad. On the one hand, it hasn't changed the fact that I want one; however, when I consider the implications, I get positively anxious about all that responsibility at a time in my life when I would like to be free to pick up and take off.

So far, I've avoided actually getting the dog, but I'm convinced that if I ever find myself in the presence of a daschund litter, I won't be able to resist. Research does show that pets can play a very positive role in the life of humans, including those who are aging. So one of these days I may just do it.

Where to Retire?

I've got another suggestion (see post on Prince Edward County) - Perth, Ontario. We drive through Perth on our way to the cottage and I have to say it must be one of the prettiest towns in Ontario. The architecture is amazing and even more so is the fact that the town and the people who live in Perth have managed to preserve and restore so many of those gorgeous old stone buildings. If the Scottish stone masons who built them were alive today, they would be so pleased to see their work so lovingly appreciated.

The visual beauty of these old stone buildings, along with the swiftly flowing Tay River running through the centre of town, and beautiful Stewart Park just a few steps away from the main street, makes Perth a very visually satisfying place. Add to that a regional hospital, all kinds of real estate options, from a cottage on any one of the nearby lakes, to a home in town to a condo on the river to a retirement residence and lots of great festivals. The Stewart Park Folk Festival, which we've attended many times, is delightful. There's a Garlic Festival, and a great country fair in the fall.

Perth is just a short hour's drive to Ottawa so for those who want the benefits of country life, but be close to the services of the city, Perth's a great spot to be. All in all, Perth would be a fine spot to retire to if quality of life is a priority.

Time Together/Time Apart

Should couples spend as much time apart when they retire as they spend apart when they are working? Statistics suggest that the divorce rate around the time of retirement is quite low and studies generally show that most couples survive retirement with their marriages intact.

Hmmmmm. This sounds like good news for couples. However, I believe that retirement causes a certain destablization or disruption to the pattern of relating that couples have worked out over many years of working. And I'm getting a sense from observing the couples I know that this does in fact occur. Many of the couples I know are in longstanding marriages that appear to be pretty solid; however, as these couples retire, there are soft rumblings of discontent. Those little irritations that were managable over the many years of working, become just a little more annoying when you're faced with them every day all day.

You know what they say about retirement - you can do what you want, when you want. But when you've got two people implementing this philosophy at the same time, there just might end up being a little conflict! Say one person wants to live at the cottage and the other loves city life, or one person wants to travel the world and the other loves being at home, the bottom line is that these couples will spend alot of time negotiating, trying to resolve who gets to do what they want, when they want.

There is a great book by Maryanne Vandervelde called Retirement for Two; she's got great ideas about how couples can navigate the transition from working life to retired life. If you are the least bit worried about whether or not your marriage will survive retirement, check it out.