Helplessness is NOT Fun

This summer I made the mistake of carrying a pair of stone urns that I had purchased at a garage sale to my car. What a bargain at $5 for the pair, I thought at the time. Of course by that evening, I realized that I had really hurt my back and within a few days I was barely able to walk. Fortunately we were spending alot of time at our cottage but it meant that I had to spend most days flat on my back, and basically at my husband's mercy. The first week or so, after he got up, I would lie there waiting for my coffee to arrive. It didn't. Normally we get our own breakfast but now I was stuck in bed and I needed it but it just wasn't appearing.

The weird thing was that I didn't want to call out to him - "Bring me my coffee". It would be so simple to just ask for it. I knew if I did he would be more than happy to do so. I just hated the feeling of not being able to do it myself. One morning I actually decided that I would get up and stay upright long enough to make myself a cup. Well......if you have ever had sciatica you know that you've got about 3 minutes standing before the pain runs down your leg and it's excrutiating. So....I lasted about 3 minutes, not quite enough time to get it made. Fortunately for me, my husband realized that I really needed a coffee first thing and he began bringing my coffee to me, unbidden. What a lovely treat.

The whole experience made me think alot about what it must be like to grow old and more vulnerable, in need of the help of others. And how much I dreaded the thought. Most people really don't like having to admit they need help and don't want to have to ask for it. If you have elderly relatives who are in this situation, don't wait for them to ask; find out how you can be of help before they ask. And if you find yourself in a helpless situation, just hope that you have someone around who gets it. If you don't, then just ask. Sometimes people don't know what we want until we tell them.