A Book Review: You Could Live a Long Time: Are you Ready?

From time to time, someone asks me, Are you going to write a book about retirement?  My answer is always the same.  I say that if I came up with a unique new twist on the issue, I would.  There are a ton of books out there about retirement and most of them say more or less the same thing.  Someone recently, however, passed on a new book about retirement to me (thanks Judith) and I have to say that finally someone has found a new twist on the issue and I like it.

The author, Lindsay Green, tackles the tough issue of what the later stage of retirement is going to be like.  There is no sugar coating here.  She has two important messages for us.  The first is that we are not going to continue to look good, feel good and be able to avoid at least some of the challenges that age brings.  These challenges include declining health, loss of close family and friends, and an increasing dependence on the help of others.

The second message is that there is hope.  She provides many insights and suggestions, based on her interviews with a number of people who have successfully adapted to later life.  Her message is ultimately a hopeful one.  Her book might very well inspire you to get going on that retirement plan, based on a realistic assessment of what your life in the second stage of retirement is going to look like.  I highly recommend this book.

Back Problems

Last summer/fall I had sciatica; it lasted for about four months.  Thanks to my physiotherapist, it was quite a bit better by Christmas.  I described what it was like in my post called Helplessness.  It was a terrible experience.  Since we returned from our trip to Malawi, my back has been relatively good.  I began working with a trainer upon my return and all was going well until we pushed the exercises a little too far and I had to stop doing them.  My back was acting up.  Now that I have a puppy, I think that all the playing and picking puppy up and bending down to pet him has aggravated my back as well.

It is hard to accept that as we age, even with the best of intentions regarding our health, it is quite a challenge to keep really fit.  Great care must be exercised in carrying out a fitness regime.  Too little and it isn't that helpful; too much and we may injure ourselves.  And then those activities we really want to take on in retirement, like finally getting the dog we always wanted, may bring with it physical challenges that may affect our health negatively as well.

This does not mean that we shouldn't work out or shouldn't get involved in exciting new activities, like getting a puppy, but it does mean that we have to take care to ensure that we take into account our age and our  health in the process.

Top Ten Retiree Activities

I came across the results of a survey recently that suggested that the following represent some of the most popular retirement activities:

• Travelling:  This is high on the list of many retirees
• Family Activities:  In retirement retirees can finally devote more time to their families
• Hobbies:  All those activities like crafts, woodworking, antique hunting, etc. are on the list
• Gardening:  Being out of doors is a priority and gardening meets this objective for many.
• Fishing:  This activity is more popular than golfing and tennis combined.
• Golfing:  Notwithstanding the above comment, many retirees spend a lot of time on the golf course.
• Volunteering:  Retirees want to give back and many do it in the volunteer sector.
• Reading:  Finally, there is time to sit down and read a book all the way through in a few sittings!
• Exercising:  Modern retirees place a high value on keeping fit and in good health.
• Home Improvement:  Now there is time to get at that To Do list.

Sharing a Project

I've been posting about our new pet and you might be wondering what this has to do with retirement.  Here's the way I see it.  Adding a pet to the household is like taking on any new big project that is going to affect everyone in the household.  In my case, this means that our household of 2 people need to be on the same page as much as possible in order for the project to have a successful outcome.  Like any major project, it requires us to cooperate and compromise, as the project moves forward.

It became quite clear early on that we don't necessarily agree on how to train our new puppy.  My husband has high expectations for quick results re house training, for example, and is determined that the new puppy will get it as quickly as possible.  I, on the other hand, seem to be more patient on the issue.  He, the puppy that is, is pretty good at using his papers inside and as long as he is doing that, I'm happy.  Yes, he needs to learn that going outside is desirable but what's the rush.

When couples retire, they generally end up spending more time together and this means many more moments that require good communication and successful negotiations.  Training the new puppy is a big test of these two requirements - so far we're doing pretty well.

The New Puppy Arrives and Life Changes

Here is a picture of Max.  He's a four month old miniature black and tan short haired dachshund.  It has been 5 days now and there is no question that having a puppy enter your life is a pretty dramatic change.  Our puppy has bonded strongly with me since I get up early in the morning with him, feed him, praise him, talk to him, play with him, take him outside, etc. etc.  He particularly likes my lap.  Trouble is there is a lot you can't get done when you've got a dog on your lap!

I've never had a puppy or a baby and really didn't know what it would be like. Because he is so young, it is going to take lots of patience and time to ensure that he becomes a well behaved, relaxed and friendly dog.

There is research that demonstrates that having a dog (or some other kind of pet) can be a very positive and rewarding experience for people as they age and move into the later years of their lives.  They cite benefits such as:  the strong emotional attachment that occurs, the requirement to get out and get some exercise with your dog, and the practice you get caring about a creature other than yourself.  

Gone and Done It!

Finally, a decision made and a commitment taken on - we are going to be picking up our new puppy later this week!  How exciting and frightening all at the same time.  We went to a pet store yesterday in order to acquire at least the basic stuff we will need including a cage, food, a collar and a leash.  In some ways, I'm glad that we have no idea what we are in for.  Over the course of my life, I've often made changes on that basis because if I did know what to expect, I'd never take any chances or make any big changes.  All in all that approach has worked just fine and it sure reduces the worrying.

If you've taken on a puppy as one of your retirement "projects", I'd love to have your advice.

Different Visions

I haven't touched on what happens in a marriage when retirement time arrives.  It has become more complicated than it used to be.  Up until about 1990, statistics show that husbands and wives retired together (at the same time) and that most often the husband retired from a career whereas the wife retired from a job.  His decision to retire seemed to trigger her decision.

How the world has changed since that time.  Staggered retirement is becoming the norm for today's couples.  Men and women have careers and women are more likely than ever before to have pensions to consider in terms of the timing of their retirement.  Baby boomer couples are heading into retirement quite differently than their parents did as a result.  Most often now, one person retires, goes through their own adjustment while their partner continues to work.  Then at some point later, the other person retires.

Some studies have shown that retiring together actually makes for less conflict at the time of retirement.  However, there hasn't been all that much research on the boomers on this issue yet so I think we'll have to wait and see what the impact of staggered retirement is.  I do know that the divorce rate around the time of retirement is quite low, although here in Canada it has been on the increase lately.

However you and your partner (if you have one) plan to approach this issue, keeping the lines of communication open at all times is the best approach.  I've got lots of ideas about this issue so come back and visit my blog - there'll be more posts on this issue over the next little while.