Dogs and Retirement

A few years ago I noticed that alot of our friends were acquiring pets, dogs to be exact. In most cases these were people who had kids and the timing seemed to overlap with these kids launching from the nest. I assumed that some strange need to continue to be responsible for the care and feeding of others was at work. At the time, I really couldn't understand why all these people were doing this.

Then I got the bug and I don't even have children. My husband had a very cute daschund-like dog when he was a kid and his father took a video of it when they were at the beach. For some reason, the image of this short legged long bodied dog with the flapping ears captured my attention and I haven't been able to get the image out of my head. Now I seem to have the "get a dog" bug. I'm convinced it must be related to aging and being in the retirement zone. I visit web sites for daschunds, and I've spoken to breeders about the breed, and I've done alot of research. This has been sort of good and bad. On the one hand, it hasn't changed the fact that I want one; however, when I consider the implications, I get positively anxious about all that responsibility at a time in my life when I would like to be free to pick up and take off.

So far, I've avoided actually getting the dog, but I'm convinced that if I ever find myself in the presence of a daschund litter, I won't be able to resist. Research does show that pets can play a very positive role in the life of humans, including those who are aging. So one of these days I may just do it.

Where to Retire?

I've got another suggestion (see post on Prince Edward County) - Perth, Ontario. We drive through Perth on our way to the cottage and I have to say it must be one of the prettiest towns in Ontario. The architecture is amazing and even more so is the fact that the town and the people who live in Perth have managed to preserve and restore so many of those gorgeous old stone buildings. If the Scottish stone masons who built them were alive today, they would be so pleased to see their work so lovingly appreciated.

The visual beauty of these old stone buildings, along with the swiftly flowing Tay River running through the centre of town, and beautiful Stewart Park just a few steps away from the main street, makes Perth a very visually satisfying place. Add to that a regional hospital, all kinds of real estate options, from a cottage on any one of the nearby lakes, to a home in town to a condo on the river to a retirement residence and lots of great festivals. The Stewart Park Folk Festival, which we've attended many times, is delightful. There's a Garlic Festival, and a great country fair in the fall.

Perth is just a short hour's drive to Ottawa so for those who want the benefits of country life, but be close to the services of the city, Perth's a great spot to be. All in all, Perth would be a fine spot to retire to if quality of life is a priority.

Time Together/Time Apart

Should couples spend as much time apart when they retire as they spend apart when they are working? Statistics suggest that the divorce rate around the time of retirement is quite low and studies generally show that most couples survive retirement with their marriages intact.

Hmmmmm. This sounds like good news for couples. However, I believe that retirement causes a certain destablization or disruption to the pattern of relating that couples have worked out over many years of working. And I'm getting a sense from observing the couples I know that this does in fact occur. Many of the couples I know are in longstanding marriages that appear to be pretty solid; however, as these couples retire, there are soft rumblings of discontent. Those little irritations that were managable over the many years of working, become just a little more annoying when you're faced with them every day all day.

You know what they say about retirement - you can do what you want, when you want. But when you've got two people implementing this philosophy at the same time, there just might end up being a little conflict! Say one person wants to live at the cottage and the other loves city life, or one person wants to travel the world and the other loves being at home, the bottom line is that these couples will spend alot of time negotiating, trying to resolve who gets to do what they want, when they want.

There is a great book by Maryanne Vandervelde called Retirement for Two; she's got great ideas about how couples can navigate the transition from working life to retired life. If you are the least bit worried about whether or not your marriage will survive retirement, check it out.

Where oh where to retire?

I just returned from a weekend in Prince Edward County, Ontario. I now understand why many retirees flock to this part of Ontario to live out their retirement years. It's only a couple of hours from Toronto and about three or so from Ottawa and Montreal. Even though the weekend was cold and wet, we had a great time. The countryside is bucolic, with lots of lovely, well maintained farms, super little towns with interesting shops and cafes, and all along the back roads there are art studios, antique shops, artisan cheese factories, and wineries. You would almost think you were in the south of France. And did I mention that you are never far from the water! For anyone who wants to live near or on the water, Prince Edward County provides plenty of coastline. Some of it runs along protected bays and some overlooks Lake Ontario.

One of the highlights of our weekend was the food. Several well known chefs are both visiting and relocating to the County. Whether we were eating in little cafes, like the Regent in Picton, or the Carriage House lunch room in Bloomfield, or at more formal restaurants like the one at the Merrill Inn in Picton, the food was first rate. What also made our meals, and our trip in general, so pleasant, was the friendliness of the service. From the lovely Scottish lady in the antique and gift shop in Bloomfield to Charles who works in the Oeno Gallery, the people we met were informative, helpful and downright nice.

For anyone who places a high value on quality of life, Prince Edward County could be the place to be.

Where oh where are my retirement friends?

When I'm delivering a retirement seminar, I always get people to think about who they will be spending time with in retirement. Many people assume that if they have a great social network while they are working, they'll have a great social network in retirement. Maybe this ain't so. First of all, research shows that you don't always take your work friends with you and with age, you are likely to see your social circle shrink. This is counterbalanced somewhat by having the time in retirement to make new friends, of course.

One thing I've noticed recently, however, that I find disturbing is that the great social network you have built up by the time you retire, may change significantly when you are all retired. One of my close friends is a fanatic traveller. She takes at least one 2-3 week trip every 4-6 weeks. We still haven't been able to arrange a lunch so that we can exchange Christmas gifts!!

Four of the couples we associate with are off somewhere warmer at the moment. One couple is gone for two months to South Carolina, another for 3 weeks to Florida plus a Caribbean cruise, the third for 2 weeks visiting friends who live in Florida all winter and my husband's music buddy (they meet once a week when he is in Town) and his wife are also in Florida for several months this winter. On of the favourite pastimes of retirees is travel and boy I can believe it.

I've also noticed that once your friends begin having grandchildren, all of a sudden you drop down on their priority list. I have friends who retired to the East Coast, thinking that they would have several couple friends they would see regularly. Well, most of these friends are grandparents and guess what, they don't see these friends much at all - they are too busy with their grandchildren.

So....when you are imagining life in retirement and how you've got this great social network that you have built up over the years to count on, don't be so sure.

Time versus Money

At the very heart of retirement planning is the issue of time versus money. I recently had the opportunity to submit a proposal for work on a retirement-related project. Initially it looked as though it would be a pretty lucrative contract. In the end, it became apparent that the money available had shrunk to quite a small amount and at this stage, the project may not happen at all. If it does, it will be a small amount of money. The funny thing is that when I realized that the project, which at one point might have taken a couple of months of work, might not happen, I felt relieved!! What a strange reaction for a retirement consultant to have. However, I'm semi-retired and really enjoy having alot of free time to pursue all my personal interests. Any commitment to work means giving up this time.

I think that how we feel about the value of our time versus the value of having money is at the heart of the decision to continue to work or to retire. For me, with age has come an increasingly high value being placed on time, with money taking more of a back seat. If the original contract had come through, it might have meant being able to buy a new car sooner than planned, or taking a special vacation, or just spending more on whatever. However, my ten year old car runs just fine and gets me where I want to go, I spend quite a bit of time at the cottage in the summer when work is slower, and we take at least 2 vacations a year as it is. I also get to travel on business from time to time and combine these trips with short holidays. If anything, these days I'm trying to figure out how to get rid of stuff, not buy more.

So...what's most important to you: time or money? If you know the answer to this question, it will make it alot easier for you to decide what you want to do with your life.

Classic retirement

Just got back from a business trip to Vancouver; my retired husband joined me since he has brothers who live out there. My husband is a classic retiree, by that I mean that once he retired from his fulltime job, he had no desire to work again. He plays music, takes photos and then plays with them endlessly on photoshop, keeps fit by playing squash several times a week, golfs in the summer, reads extensively about what's going on in the world, and basically just does each day what he wants to do.

He likes life in retirement. In fact, when I say let's take a vacation, he says, "What for?" As far as he is concerned he is on a permanent vacation! While many boomers say when surveyed that they are going to both retire and work (at least part time), I'm sure there will still be many who decide to become full time retirees just like my husband. It certainly seems to be one strategy that can work since he is both healthy and happy.