Researching Family History

My husband's father spent a number of years in retirement researching his family's history.  He left behind when he passed away, a large database of information.  When my husband retired, he picked up the torch and has done more research using several internet-based genealogical sites to assist in the process.  On our recent trip to Ireland, we visited the small town where both his father's parents came from, Lorrah.  It's fine to have a detailed database of dates of birth and death and marriage, but it made this history seem so much more real to walk on the main street, visit the postmistress for a short discussion on whether there were any Conroys left, and to see the four historic religious buildings in town (in varying states of decline), one of which dates to 540 AD!

Through his research, my husband has discovered a number of cousins, one in California, one in Tennessee and one in Northern Scotland, that he now keeps in touch with.  No wonder so many people as they move into later life and retirement, place a priority on doing this kind of research.  It involves challenges, mysteries, great finds, and maybe even new friendships.  Best of all, once documented, the output can be shared with anyone who has an interest in the family and provides the next generation with a sense of where they have come from.

Maintaining Friendships

Further to an earlier post, I wanted to report on our recent trip to Ireland.  We attended the wedding of a good friend's daughter in Clifden, Ireland.  We made the decision to do so based on the long standing friendship between my husband and his friend, Hugh.  They attended the University of BC together and have remained good friends every since.  We had a wonderful time in Ireland, spending most of the week in the Clifden area.  Ballynahinch Castle Hotel was amazing (see photo), and it was wonderful to have a chance to meet so many of the attendees at the wedding over the weekend at the hotel.  We also were able to spend high quality time with our friends.

The night before returning from Ireland, we stayed at an airport hotel.  In the dining room, who did we run into but the newly married couple!  It was a good chance to talk with the newlyweds post the event.  Hugh's daughter made a point of letting us know how happy her father was that we had come and that it meant alot to him that we had attended the wedding.

Research confirms that having strong social networks among family and friends is correlated with being happy in retirement.  This means being prepared to give people a priority.   In attending Hugh's daughter's wedding, we were putting this principle into practice. 

A Max Report

Max, our 14 month old miniature daschund, has now moved into his teenage years.  Despite our many efforts, he still believes that he is in charge.  For an 11 pound pet, he certainly has a very big ego.  Despite this, he has some wonderful traits.   His level of enthusiasm for play and walks (preferably offleash) is contagious.  His several walks a day are keeping us (most particularly me) more fit.  We also enjoy going for a "pack" walk that involves all three of us.  It is one more thing that my husband and I now have in common and we enjoy these walks immensely.  When one of us is out,  he keeps the other company.

  

His ability to simply go to sleep when we both go out, sometimes for 4 or 5 hours at a time, is amazing.  We simply tell him that he has to "stay" and he does just that.  He finds a nice warm confortable spot, usually on the $400 faux fur throw that is draped on the living room couch.  As far as we can tell, he doesn't eat, chew, explore, or have accidents while we are gone.  His happiness when we return is a joy to watch.  He basically wags his whole body. 

During the early months, when he was a tiny, seemingly helpless puppy, I wasn't convinced that getting a dog was a good idea.  Now my husband and I agree that it has been a great success and we look forward to many happy joyful years with Max, Maxi, the Maxer, Maximillion, Macaroni, etc. etc.

The Next Generation Marries

In the past year we have had invitations to a number of weddings.  The children of our boomer friends are now entering the marriage zone.  These invitations are for not just out of town weddings, but out of country weddings.  Last year we reluctantly declined two of these invitations, one to Australia and one to the South of France.  In the case of the latter, our Irish friends' daughter wanted to get married in St. Remy de Provence where our friends have a holiday home.  We had just been to Malawi, a major one month trip, and just couldn't contemplate a trip to Australia or even to the the wedding in France. 

Well, the second daughter of our Irish friends is getting married shortly in Ireland and we have decided that we will attend this one.  As you head into your 60s you realize that you don't have forever.  Life seems awfully short and friends become increasingly important.  My husband has known his friend from Ireland for about 45 years!  We have visited he and his wife in Ireland and they have visisted us here in Canada.  We value this friendship and that's why we are going to this next wedding.   Part of the wedding festivities involve staying at Ballynahinch Castle for 2 nights!  Should be some wedding!  I'll post photos when we get back.

Like What He Likes?

Today I'm going with my husband to play duplicate bridge.  Now, I've played rubber bridge for a long time.  Several of our couple friends play and it is a pleasant way to spend an evening.  My husband has been trying to convince me to start playing duplicate bridge.  He's been playing for several years.  He has other partners but he would like me to be available when the others aren't.

I've been resisting.  The idea of playing with complete strangers, some of whom are determined to win more Masters points just doesn't sound like fun to me.  Also, it means having to learn and remember a whole lot of conventions.  Again, that doesn't appeal either.

Well, today I'm going with him.  I figure that as we age, it will be good if there are activities we enjoy together.  He notes that there are alot of older people who play at his club; it provides them with both mental stimulation, as well as social contact.  I'm a little nervous, but in the end I will probably enjoy myself and I know it will please him no end.  Now all I have to do is figure out what the quid pro quo is going to be!

The Bucket List

I was talking today with an old friend.  We were discussing Ireland; we both have ancestors who lived in Ireland way back.  She was telling me about her personal "bucket list".  One item on her list is to visit Ireland.  I realized that this topic fits in with my last post (which was awfully long ago); it was about figuring out how to have enough money to live on in later life while also using some of those savings to enjoy life.

I do have some things I want to do before I die but they've just been floating around in my brain.  I think I'll take it to the next step and actually create a word file with the list identified.  By doing that I figure that it will help me to priorize them, to cost them, and to then negotiate with my husband!

There comes a point in life where saving for the future isn't as important as it used to be and where using time wisely increases in importance.   In retirement, we gain the freedom to pursue our dreams so get on with it!  I'm going to.

It's Time to Spend Money!

The other day I read an article in the paper written by a financial planner about a fictional couple.  She was 64 and her husband was 74.  The article focused a great deal on how they need to continue to save money!  They already had quite a large amount in savings and owned a mortage free house.  It really annoyed me.

There was nothing about how they should go about spending their savings.  The average age of mortality is 78 and this guy is 74!  He may only have a few years left and they want him to continue to save money!  I'm not suggesting that people should rush out and spend all their savings; what I am suggesting is that there comes a time when spending your money (and enjoying what life there is left) just makes sense.

This is especially true if you don't have children.  We don't and a few years ago we decided to add a dream kitchen to our house.  I'm a serious cook and had been working in a terribly small kitchen for years.  We decided to use a Home Owner Line of Credit (HOLC) to finance the project, with NO intention of paying back the loan.  That's right; no intention of paying back the loan.  We essentially used the equity in our house to enhance our daily quality of life. It is 3 years since we did it and we are still enjoying the space every day.  We make the interest payments every month; that's all.  There is still a large amount of equity in the house and if we both die, our relatives would still inherit a good deal of money. 

Financial planning in retirement needs to involve a hard look at how much money needs to be protected for the future and how much can be spent now.  I'd like to see a few more planners recommending that people spend some of their savings while they are still young enough to enjoy it.