Travelling with Max

Just thought I should provide a follow-up to my post about doing a business trip accompanied by my husband and my dog.  More about husbands later.  In this post, I want to report on our experience travelling with Max. 

I was quite surprised to discover that a very upscale vintage inn in Niagara-on-the-Lake actually had what they call dog-friendly rooms.  Ours was at the back of the hotel and instead of walking out our hotel room door into an internal corridor, we walked onto a covered porch area that bordered the back parking lot of the hotel.  We could head out for walks without having to go through the hotel.  It was very convenient and worked very well.  The only catch, when we checked out we discovered something they didn't tell us up front - we were charged an extra $35 per day to have the dog in our room!!  In the hotel information book, it referred to a "small" fee; we were quite taken aback to find that it added up to over a $100, what with taxes, for our 3 day stay.

At the next hotel we visited in Huntsville, we were also able to bring the dog into our room.  This time we were on the second floor of the hotel and had to go through the hotel to get outside.  However, there was no extra charge for having the dog in the room. 

Now I do have to confess that Max wasn't the perfect traveller.  He was a little thrown off by luxury inns, staying in the Guelph home of our niece with her very shy rescue dog, walking through the corridors of a hotel, and spending time in a retirement residence where we visited my husband's aunt and uncle.  This led to a few "accidents".  However, all in all he really did behave himself and we discovered that we could in fact travel successfully with him.  He did enjoy himself as well; he had his first off-leash run on the commons in Niagara-on-the-Lake and generally displayed a sense of curiosity and adventure during most of the trip.

We are not in a rush to do it again but we do feel confident that Max is an adaptable little dog and will have lots of travel adventures in his future.

Investing in Relationships

I have to do 2 retirement seminars out of town and we have decided that my husband, along with Max, our miniature daschund, will come with me on this road trip.  Part way through the trip we will spend the weekend with his niece and her husband.  Since my husband and I have no children, it is important for us to cultivate and maintain a close relationship with those in the next generation within our family.  Of our 4 nieces, one lives close by, one lives about a 6 hour drive away and the other two live thousands of miles away.

When the niece who lives a 6 hour drive away was in university in Montreal, we encouraged her to visit us on long weekends and she did.  We have gotten to know her quite well as a result.  Both she and her husband and my husband and I make an effort to keep in touch.  Her husband sends us a monthly newsy report on what they are up to, we talk on the phone regularly, and also make an effort to have face to face visits as often as we can.

Good family relationships don't just happen; it takes a commitment and personal effort to nurture and strengthen these relationships.  One of the joys of retirement is that individuals have more time to devote to the important people in their lives.  We are really looking forward to visiting with our niece and her husband while on my seminar trip and I know that it is an investment of our time that will strengthen our ties within them.

Widowhood

The average age of widowhood in the US is 56.  In Canada it's a little higher.  It is still shocking to consider that women who have a partner may very well spend some or all of their retirement alone.  I have six friends under the age of 60 who have already become widows.  Only 1 has remarried.  When talking with couples about their retirement it is tough to raise this issue but there is such a strong possiblity that it is going to happen that I feel remiss if I don't raise it.

From my perspective both as a professional retirement planner and as part of a couple, I believe that it is important for couples to take this possible reality into consideration as they do their planning.  Part of this planning involves estate planning, i.e. making sure that wills are in order and that all relevant paper work is done and its location known.  One of my friends couldn't find her husband's will when he died and another had a husband who didn't have a will.  This can cause needless stress at a time when the grieving process is in full swing.

It is also important to make sure that there is a support network in place.  It is fine to be fully supported by one's husband but if he dies, do you have strong family ties and/or very good friends who will also be available and willing to help.  If ever there is a time when support can help, it is when you lose a loved one.  Being prepared to ask friends and family for help is a key element in surviving through this difficult time.

Decisions about where to locate in retirement should also take into account this phenomenon.  My husband and I lease a cottage on an island and I am fully aware that if something happened to him, it would be difficult if not impossible for me to continue to go there.  As opposed to just not thinking about it at all, I do consider how I could conceivably continue to lease the cottage (I could only do it if I had people who could be there with me as I know that I wouldn't enjoy being there alone at night) but I also face the possiblity that I would have to give it up.  That would end up being a terrible outcome as it would mean not only losing my spouse but also access to a very special place.

I know that it isn't always easy to plan one's life and it's true that we never really know what is going to happen and when.  However, devoting at least some time to facing such a reality can prepare us to deal with such a difficult transition more easily.